What Happens When Work Stops Being Your Identity
Leisure time used to be the highest form of humanity - here's how we get it back.
Hey there,
Katina here, Daydreamers’ Co-founder and Chief Science Officer. Someone asked me a question last week - for what feels like the millionth time - and it hit me: The answer might be why we’re all so burned out, blocked, and struggling with our Creative Health.
So, let me ask you: How many times have you been to a dinner party, a networking event, or even just chatting with a stranger, and the first question you’re asked is what do you do?
As a Creative Health Scientist, it’s a question that makes me squeamish. While it seems harmless on the surface, it reveals so much about what our society has been trained to value. Because, we all know what that question is code for 🫠.
It’s not: What do you do in your free time? Or better yet: What do you like to do?
It means: What do you do for work? Basically, tell me your worth so I can size you up.
In today’s world, work has become something so much bigger that just what we do - whether we like it or not, it’s become synonymous with who we are. One little description can seemingly represent our capabilities, our intelligence and our potential to the world.
But trust me, we didn’t always live this way.
In fact, in ancient times leisure - not labor - was considered the highest form of flourishing. People didn’t dream about where they could work next. Instead, they viewed work as a “necessary burden,” not an identity.
And leisure? It was the ultimate goal - a space to think deeply, create freely and explore without needing it to lead somewhere.
Think of it this way: The ancient Greeks’ word for leisure was skolé (yes, the root of our word for school) - but it wasn’t a place to prepare for a future of productivity. It was literal life school. Unstructured, creative time was seen as an essential ingredient for human flourishing.
This way of life lasted for centuries - until the Industrial Revolution, and later, the hyper-capitalist boom of the 1980s. It was then that work became our new “religion.” Labor moved from time-bound craft to never-ending production. Productivity became our latest currency.
And as a society, we quietly learned: If we want to be worthy, we have to produce.
But personally, I think we’re on the brink of a massive, cultural paradigm shift. A creatively fulfilling one, if I must say so myself. We’re no longer in that 2016 #girlboss era where we’re blinded by the allure of the corner office. We’re starting to question the grind. Many of us have began to decouple - at least conceptually - our work identity from who we want to be.
We’re remembering that a life of leisure, of creativity, of fulfillment is, in fact, the entire point.
The problem? We don’t yet know how to get there.
The truth is that even though most of us don’t want work to be our entire identity anymore, we’re stuck in a system that keeps demanding it is. That’s because, in part, we’ve been neurologically trained to only value our time when it’s tied to extrinsic outcomes - the next promotion, the bigger house, the elusive, future gold star. And as a result, we’ve atrophied our ability to do things simply for the sake of it.
That tradeoff has massive consequences - for our brains, our identities, and our health.
So, how can we begin to really, truly shift out of a life defined by workism into one filled with creativity? How do we start cultivating an identity, a way of being, that has less emphasis on labor and more on leisure?
Let’s start with unpacking the dopamine feedback loop that keeps us stuck, willingly or not, in achievement mode. And then, we can relearn the secret behind how to play as adults - no matter what you “do” for work.
What Drives Workism: The Modern Dopamine Spiral
How many times have you finally achieved a work-related goal - a promotion, a raise, or landing that new job - and a mere few hours later felt…empty? Like the shine wore off too fast and you’re already scanning for the next thing to achieve?
If you answered every time, you’re not alone.
This isn’t just a personal mindset issue. It’s a biological and psychological loop designed to keep you striving - and most of us are deep inside it.
It all starts…with dopamine.
Unlike like many of us think, dopamine isn’t a pleasure chemical. It’s actually the anticipation chemical. It’s what drives us to seek. It stirs up our motivation.
In evolutionary terms, it kept us alive: searching for food, safety, connection. But in the modern world, this ancient system is hijacked by algorithms, achievements, and endless feedback loops.
And, those feedback loops aren’t just that phantom notification on your phone. It’s also big things - the next milestone. The bigger bonus. The future job title you can brag about.
It works like this: Each time we anticipate a reward, dopamine spikes. It’s not the getting - it’s the expecting that lights up our brain. And, as soon as it’s over, the dopamine depletes back to baseline.
So we keep going. We stay hooked on the feeling of anticipation. We overwork. We overachieve. We stay in motion. Because slowing down means the dopamine stops.
And over time, that loop conditions us to only value what can be measured. External motivation becomes our fuel. Likes, raises, metrics, milestones; everything gets filtered through the question: What will this lead to?
And here’s the kicker: The more we chase external rewards, the more our intrinsic motivation - our natural curiosity, desire, and joy - starts to weaken. Psychologists call this the overjustification effect. It’s what happens when doing something for the outcome starts to override our ability to do it just because we enjoy it.
Every time you think “Could I monetize this?” or “Is this worth my time?” before trying something new, you’re trading aliveness for achievement.
But here’s the hopeful part: We can rebuild our intrinsic motivation system. We can get out of the dopamine loop.
It’s not an overnight switch though. The entry point to rebuilding our brain’s intrinsic motivation system isn’t quitting everything or going on a long search to find your “true passion.”
It starts by doing something radically simple: Learning how to play - in adult form - again.
The Science of Autotelic Experiences
Let me just be clear: Becoming aware that you’re living in the dopamine loop is a powerful first step toward getting off.
But if you’re ready to begin actively cultivating a creatively fulfilling identity, we have to start rebuilding our intrinsic motivation system, one micro-step at a time.
The way we do that? By having more of what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called autotelic experiences - activities we do for their own sake, not to earn, prove, or produce anything. Not to get better or be the best. Just because we want to.
These kinds of experiences are the foundation of Creative Health. They rebuild our brain’s capacity to be present, to experiment, to find joy without needing it to “add up” to anything. They’re the antidote to hustle culture.
And they’re backed by science - autotelic experiences are directly linked to resilience, emotional well-being, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. They’re also what unlock flow states, creative momentum, and psychological flexibility.
Essentially, it’s adult play.
I know that might sound lofty, so let me explain. Last week, I actually got a glimpse of what that feels like - in the most unexpected place: a tennis court.
Dupi and I are still learning, and I usually show up in full performance mode; you know, tracking our improvement, correcting form, trying to “get better.” But, for some reason (maybe because I’d been writing this newsletter!) I let it go. We just…played. We missed shots and laughed. We goofed off. We let ourselves be bad.
And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t trying to get anywhere. I was just there.
It honestly felt electric. Like something long-dormant in me had flickered back on.
Which is wild - because this is what I teach. What I study. What I built a company around. And still, I had to ask myself: Why is it so hard for me to just do something I enjoy?
The truth is: Play feels impossible for most of us adults. But, that’s only because we’ve been trained to think of it as frivolous. Childish. Unproductive.
In reality, play is one of the most neurologically nourishing states we can enter. It’s presence. It’s purpose-less, in the best way. It’s what happens when your attention is fully absorbed in something for no other reason than curiosity, joy, or exploration.
The best part? It doesn’t need to be fancy or complicated. It’s innate to who we are. According to a leading researcher on play, Dr. Stuart Brown, “When we play, we are engaged in the purest expression of our humanity.”
When we allow ourselves even a little space for that, everything starts to shift. People who regularly enter playful, autotelic states report higher life satisfaction, more emotional resilience, and stronger creative problem-solving skills, even in times of stress or uncertainty.
And this isn’t some luxury we earn after we’ve achieved all the stuff we’re striving for. Living from a place of intrinsic motivation is the actual path to creativity, wellness, and aliveness. It’s how we bounce back from burnout. It’s how we find meaning. It’s how we reconnect with ourselves.
Ultimately, this is exactly what we’re building at Daydreamers: A way out of the loop. A space to just be creatively yourself. A how-to process for waking up that part of you that remembers how to play, create, and live just because.
So no matter where you are on that journey, this week, you can start small. Next time you feel the pull to prove yourself, to optimize your time, to cross one more thing off your list, pause and ask yourself: What would it look like to create for no reason at all?
It’s not silly. It’s not random. It’s the first step in rewiring your identity to become creatively healthy.
And eventually, your answer to that question - “What do you do?” - will start sounding a whole lot different.
- Katina
Daydreamers’ Co-Founder and Chief Science Officer
We Need Your Help: Expand The Creative Health Movement
We’re on a mission to reach 100,000 Creative Brains that receive this newsletter - because from our POV, Creative Health isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s essential for our individual and collective well-being.
If someone popped into your mind while reading this, forward it to them. They probably need it, too! Let’s build a movement where creativity isn’t an afterthought - it’s the foundation for a healthier, more vibrant world.
Creative Health Protocol 🧠
This newsletter is the what, and the Daydreamers platform is the how - your guide to turning Creative Health insights into real, tangible action. Here’s a peek.
Have an Autotelic Experience
What it is: The first step to get off the dopamine spiral and into a creative way of living is to shift from extrinsic motivation to intrinsic motivation. And, that starts with having more autotelic experiences. An autotelic experience is an activity you do for its own sake - not for productivity, performance, or external reward. These kinds of experiences are the foundation of flow states, and they’re directly linked to psychological well-being, resilience, and a sense of meaning. Essentially, it’s adult play.
How you can experiment with it: Bring a playful perspective to something creative you do this week. Instead of cooking the “best” dinner, try focusing on making something that will nourish you. Instead of writing in your journal as if it’s getting published in The New York Times, let yourself channel without a bigger purpose. At Daydreamers, we have an entire pathway dedicated to relearning “play” as adults if you need extra support in getting started.
What We’re Loving This Week 🪐
We’re all about simplicity, clarity and depth - so instead of overwhelming you with a random mix of news, here’s one standout idea, read, brand or project that’s really supporting our Creative Health this week.
A Spark of Curiosity: Life on Other Planets?
We’ve always been a little space-obsessed at DD HQ (our version of an autotelic hobby!), and this week’s headlines have us buzzing. Not because another billionaire took an 11-minute joyride to the edge of Earth 😵💫 Scientists may have found actual signs of life on other planets. If that’s true… what else could be possible?
🪐 + If you enjoy floating in mental space, too - read about the awe-inducing Overview Effect, or deep dive into Carl Sagan’s Cosmos for a reminder of just how beautifully strange it is to be alive.
Tell us in the comments: What’s your favorite autotelic escape? The thing that pulls you out of work mode and drops you into your creative brain? 🧠✨
When you join Daydreamers, you’re not just unlocking your own Creative Health - you’re helping us build a world where resources like this newsletter are free for everyone to access. Ready to help us make the world a more creative place?
Lately, for me, it's been flower arranging! I wrote about it here 🌸: https://open.substack.com/pub/alisonzamora/p/currently-feeling-like-the-world?