The Myth of Greatness
Why the shame of being average hijacks our creativity, joy and fulfillment.
We live in a culture that treats being “average” not as normal - but as a failure.
It seems like everyone is someone these days. The 23-year-old who sold their startup for millions. The homespun artist who landed a six-figure book deal. The mom with hundreds of thousands of fans following her every move. The “thought leader” who somehow still (🙄) has time for a ten-step bedtime routine.
Greatness seems to follow us everywhere, even when we’re not actively looking for it. From doctor’s appointments (are you taking supplements?) to our hobbies (just document your pottery journey!), we’re all quietly being fed the same story: If your life isn’t extraordinary, is it even worth living?
I call this feeling the Myth of Greatness. It’s so much bigger than feeling burned out or the byproduct of too much screen time. In fact, it’s a deeper, systemic psychological story we’ve absorbed for generations: The belief that in order for our lives to matter, they have to be exceptional.
Not just good - great. Not just creative - genius. Not just fulfilling - famous.
But here’s the paradox: The more we strive to prove our worth through greatness, the more disconnected we become from what makes life actually feel worth living.
Yes, greatness sounds like a dream. But for most of us, it’s a trap.
Hey there - Katina here. I’m a Creative Health Scientist, and the Co-founder & Chief Science Officer of Daydreamers. Every week, I write about the science of Creative Health, or how to live our most meaningful, beautiful, and creatively free lives.
Sometimes, we dive deep into a specific Creative Health topic like flow, awe, or imagination. Other times, we break down our own research at Daydreamers or share scientific tools to help you navigate the world with more creativity and compassion.
If you're new here: Welcome. I'm so glad you found us. And if you’ve been reading for a while - thank you. I’m so grateful you’re building a creatively healthy world with us.
Lately, as a Creative Health Scientist myself, I’ve been thinking a lot about the fundamental fear that’s underneath all of this: The fear of being ordinary.
The gnawing sense that we’re behind. That we’re not doing enough. That we should be more.
It’s something we see with Daydreamers members all the time: This quiet, shameful, persistent ache that bubbles under the surface of everyday life. This feeling that we often can’t name, but meets us at every turn. That voice that tells us even when life is objectively going well, it still feels like we’re falling short.
And that vague sense that we’re not “enough”? It’s not just an existential marker of life. It’s a symptom of depleted Creative Health - that essential inner fuel that gives us access to wonder, fulfillment, freedom, and joy.
Because when we’re stuck in the Myth of Greatness, creativity becomes conditional. We don’t create to express; we try to prove. We don’t imagine or play, we optimize and perform.
Last week, I shared the three core psychological wounds that block our most creatively alive selves. And today, I want to zoom in on the one I see most often - the one most of us are carrying without even realizing it: Perfectionism.
Perfectionism has nothing to do with being perfect. It’s actually quite the opposite - we perfect not because we feel whole, but because we’re terrified we’re not.
It’s that quiet-but-exhausting inner system that tells us: If I just work harder, polish more, control everything - maybe I’ll be safe. Maybe I’ll be seen. Maybe I’ll be enough.
It’s a voice that I personally know all too well - and we’ve spent many years deconstructing at Daydreamers. When greatness becomes the baseline for a “worthy” life, perfectionism becomes the survival strategy we build to meet it.
And nothing hijacks our Creative Heath more than that.
Perfectionism: The Side Effect of Greatness
At the end of the day, our cultural obsession with “greatness” isn’t even as motivating as we think.
Sure, we’ve all internalized the narrative that waking up at 5AM, setting “moonshot” goals, and optimizing every minute of the day is what successful people do. But, underneath the surface, constant striving for greatness is one of the most common psychological traps of our time.
And, honestly? It sets the stage perfectly for perfectionism.
Our nervous systems, wired for connection and survival, end up adapting to this cultural Myth of Greatness by developing coping mechanisms. Perfectionism arises not because we’re chasing excellence - but because we’re terrified of what it means to fall short.
The research backs this up: Perfectionism, especially socially prescribed perfectionism, or the belief that others expect you to be flawless in order to be accepted - is rising fast. A 2019 meta-analysis of over 40,000 college students across the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. found a dramatic generational increase in perfectionism over the last 30 years, upwards of almost 90% of young people. And socially prescribed perfectionism was most strongly associated with depression, anxiety, and burnout.
That’s not a coincidence. It’s a psychological response to a system that moralizes success and makes “being enough” conditional.
Think of it this way: In the U.S., we’re raised on the promise of upward mobility - this idea that anyone can make it if they just work hard enough. I know for me personally as the oldest daughter growing up in a first-generation immigrant household, this concept hits home. But, this cultural myth quietly turned success into a matter of character.
If you don’t “make it”? It’s not the system - it’s you. You didn’t try hard enough. You weren’t smart enough. You’re broken.
Add social media to the mix, and the pressure compounds. Suddenly, we’re not just comparing ourselves to people we know - we’re comparing ourselves to curated highlight reels of the most talented, beautiful, and optimized humans on the planet, 24/7. Ultimately, the algorithms reward extremes and visibility becomes mistaken for value.
So, what happens? Even when life is going objectively well, we’re haunted by a sense that we’re somehow behind. That we’re not living up to our potential. That if we don’t create something genius, game-changing, or viral, it’s not worth doing at all.
The three core markers of perfectionism, as we see it at Daydreamers - and as supported by psychological research - are:
Fear of even getting started, often masked as procrastination
Rigid thinking that makes it hard to make change unless conditions feel “just right”
A loud inner critic that turns every idea into a test of self-worth
To me, these are the real traps of the Myth of Greatness: It doesn’t just distort how we measure success. It distorts how we show up every day as our most creatively healthy selves.
And we see perfectionism as one of the most insidious blocks to Creative Health. Because perfectionism doesn’t just delay your creativity - it literally shuts it down.
We’ve talked about this in the past, but when your brain is preoccupied with self-monitoring, your stress response activates. Cortisol spikes. Cognitive flexibility drops. And, the brain’s default mode network - the system responsible for imagination, divergent thinking, and insight - goes quiet.
In short: you lose access to your most alive, original self.
And the worst part? Most of us don’t even realize it’s happening. It’s so deep in the water of our cultural, biological and psychological selves, we can’t even see it.
To me, that’s exactly why prioritizing our Creative Health is one of the most radical things we can do. Because in a world that tells you your worth depends on being exceptional, choosing to express yourself - freely, imperfectly, fully - is truly an act of rebellion.
Creating For Fun: A Rebellion Against Perfectionist Culture
If perfectionism is a response to the pressure to be great, then joyful, messy, weird - even meaningless - creation is our rebellion.
Perfectionism tells us our worth is on the line every time we make something. That every idea must be world-changing. That our work needs to be genius - or it’s not worth doing at all.
But, our creativity isn’t supposed to be a performance. Scientifically, it’s a biological impulse. And, as we say at Daydreamers, a human right. It’s something we’re wired for - not because it makes us productive or impressive - but because it makes us feel alive.
So, the act of creating just for fun - without needing to prove anything, monetize it, or make it go viral - isn’t just a refreshing concept. It’s revolutionary. And doing it more often actually rewires our perfectionist tendencies into a more flexible, open and curious way of operating in the world.
Neurologically, this kind of spontaneous, playful expression brings us into a state of autotelic flow - where we do something purely for the sake of doing it. We talked deeply about the science behind the creative flow state in previous newsletters, but in short, research shows that when we enter a state of creative flow, our brains and bodies undergo a powerful shift.
Dopamine - the neurochemical behind motivation, pleasure, and reward - spikes, helping us feel more energized and engaged. At the same time, cortisol, our primary stress hormone, drops, reducing feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. And, flow also boosts alpha and theta brainwaves, which are associated with deep relaxation, intuition, and heightened creativity. In other words: creating for joy literally heals us.
And at the same time… it can feel terrifying to do.
Because when we’ve been conditioned to seek validation, detaching from outcomes doesn’t just feel uncomfortable - it can feel like letting go of our worth altogether.
That’s why at Daydreamers, we believe Creative Health doesn’t start with more pressure or discipline. It starts with psychological safety.
So, to begin rewiring perfectionism - and reactivating your innate creative aliveness - we recommend focusing on three core psychological tools:
Microdosing creativity through small, consistent habits that lower the emotional stakes and help your brain re-learn that it’s safe to make things just for the joy of it
Building mental flexibility to soften the rigid, black-and-white thinking that perfectionism thrives on, and to strengthen the cognitive agility needed for imagination, problem-solving, and play
Relearning self-compassion to quiet the Inner Critic and create space for creative risks, mistakes, and growth without spiraling into shame
At the end of the day, our creative brain is one of the most natural, powerful antidotes we have to the Myth of Greatness.
It reminds us that life is meant to be playful. That when we loosen our grip and follow our curiosity, we can make something meaningful - even in (especially in) the small moments. And that when we inevitably mess up, we can meet ourselves not with self-judgment, but with compassion and grace.
Because life doesn’t need to be extraordinary to be fulfilling. In fact, the core ingredients of a creatively healthy life - wonder, joy, freedom, connection - aren’t found in a 5am routine or somewhere out there. It’s the most ordinary moments where the beauty lives.
So, if you take one thing from this note today, remember: At the end of the day, we don’t need to prove our lives are meaningful by making them massive.
We just need to remember it already is 🤍🪐
- Katina
Daydreamers’ Co-Founder and Chief Science Officer
Introducing: Creative Journeys 🚀
TLDR: Exciting annoucement - you can now experience Daydreamers in a whole new way. We’ve distilled the three most common creative blocks into simple, science-backed paths - each rooted in the latest psychology, neuroscience, and what we’ve learned from working with thousands of non-artists and people like you.
You’ll choose your starting point. One journey at a time, at your own pace.
Our recommendation? Start with Perfectionism - it’s the most common block we see, and the one most likely standing in the way of your creative freedom..
Creative Health Protocol 🧠
This newsletter is the what, and the Daydreamers platform is the how - your guide to turning Creative Health insights into real, tangible action. Here’s a peek.
Microdose Mental Flexibility
What it is: Mental flexibility is our brain’s ability to shift perspectives, adapt to change, and imagine new possibilities - essential for creativity and for undoing the rigid thinking perfectionism thrives on. When our thinking becomes binary (“this is good or bad,” “I’m talented or I’m failing”), we block our creative instincts and stay stuck in survival mode. Mental flexibility creates space for curiosity, play, and imperfection.
How you can experiment with it: Start with tiny, creative disruptions. One of my favorite Daydreamers exercise to strengthen this muscle is called Passive Problem Solving - a practice where you doodle, write, or chip away at a bigger creative project, but take intentional mind-wandering breaks in between. These simple shifts help loosen your grip on control and signal to your brain that it’s safe to try new things. Over time, this builds the cognitive agility needed to imagine, adapt, and create without fear.
What We’re Consuming This Week 🪐
Exposure to new ideas is an essential part of Creative Health. So, here’s what we’ve been enjoying, digesting, exploring and expanding - instead of doomscrolling and going down the (wrong) kind of rabbit holes.
🎧: A conversation with Dr. Lisa Barrett on the emotional brain. Two-hour podcasts are not necessarily our thing, but this one is too good not to listen. Dr. Barrett is a 0.1% cited psychologist and one of the most compelling scientific translators we know.
📖: The NYT Creativity Challenge. Did they get a peek into the Daydreamers Platform 😝?! Just kidding - but, if you do want a quick insight into the power of creative health exercises, browse through this 5-day experiment.
🎨: A quick take on Ocean Vuong’s “unproductive” creative process. This description is exactly how we view The Creative Spectrum. Expression, thinking and noticing are all essential - not unproductive.
→ Tell us in the comments: Does perfectionism show up in your life or creative process? Or did this POV on perfectionism surprise you? Tell us in the comments or reply to this email - we read every one 🧠✨
+ by joining Daydreamers, you’re not just unlocking your own Creative Health - you’re helping us build a world where imagination, well-being, and tools like this newsletter are accessible to all. Ready to help us make the world a more creative place?
The other day I was making a floral arrangement and the flowers just weren't coming together in the way I hoped. I found myself getting frustrated but/and/also trying to remind myself that this is just for FUN. It made me pause and ask myself: why am I doing this again? Is it to make this floral arrangement BE something, or is it one of the ways I help my brain become more flexible? There's an (un)learning curve to perfectionism, that's for sure!